...so damn fast,

I don't know what Madonna had been smoking to suggest otherwise.

She gave up fags after Desperately Seeking Susan, didn't she?

The week off that wasn't has almost disipated entirely.

Almost and entirely -- crippling the effectiveness of that sentence. Reading Charles Bukowski should have made my language sharp and to the point. There will be an effect for a couple of days, but the unwieldly metaphors and similes will return soon enough.

Like a prodigal son in a luminous green shellsuit.

See.

Ikea yesterday morning wasn't all bad. The cafe is amazing. You get treated like adults and they have proper food. Sweden has moved up into the top 5 of countries I have to visit as a result of our visit.

We bought baskets - 15 of them. A massive shelf-unit for the Garden Room [yes, I know that sounds poncey. In reality it's a damp carbuncle at the edge of the house that is completely unusable between October and May. So, we've decided to give it over to Ava as a play room.

We got something with drawers in for the kitchen too.

It will hold tins of food.

It needs to be big because of all of the bird flu and nuclear war around the corner.

Tuna, beans and brown rice might be the only things that mean we Waltons survive.

I don't want to eat the cat; but it's probably a good idea to keep her nice and fat just in case.

Utd just scored against City. Shit.

Assuming that members of my family might stumble across this page, please note the over-abundance of soft toys in our house. We can't move for teddys, Jesses, Winnie the Poohs, cute sheep, koalas and fuzzy dogs. That is only a small selection of Ava's toy arsenal. Please don't buy any more for Christmas. PLEASE! I know that sounds ungrateful. I'm sorry; but we're all teddy-d out.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow night's show.

It will be bonza.

Bonser?

How do our Australian cousins spell that? Back to the top of the page...